The Second Law of Thermodynamics seems to support the idea that the universe is constantly expanding and moving toward chaos. In that chaos exists infinite possibilities. If our reality is the most ordered of these possibilities it makes sense that alternate, more disordered possibilities exist. It makes sense that in the most disordered of these possibilities my children are alive.
I wake up in the early hours of the morning, the beginnings of the day peaking through the edges of my bedroom curtains, and I hear the soft cry of my Alice. A cry letting her Mommy know she is hungry and wants to be held. I get up and slide on my slippers and reach for my robe. About that time a second cry pierces the quiet morning, Drake, always the second one to wake. My husband rolls over and mutters that he loves me and I go into the nursery to greet my children.
This all happens in my Wonderland, that infinite possibility that hasn't been proven but can't be disproven. My Wonderland where Once Mothers and Once Children are just mothers and children. Where Never to Be Mornings are everyday mornings and the probable disorder is a perfect chaos that has an infinite chance of being true.
The mornings are the most difficult for me. My husband goes to work and the silence he leaves behind is all I can hear. What times do you struggle the most? How did you imagine it to be different?
