Thursday, September 1, 2011
Well, school has started again. I think most people measure the years from January to December but as a teacher, I measure mine from August to May. The summer is just recooperation time, time for me to catch up on the personal things I don't do while school is in. Of course, this past summer was time for me to grieve and try to get a handle on my emotions before I once again stepped into a classroom. Teaching is often a frustrating and emotionally draining job but I look forward to a new set of people every year. Its exciting to do something different every day and having a constant rotation of kids is refreshing. This year I'm struggling to make a decision on putting pictures of Alice and Drake in my classroom. I told my students that I had twins and that they didn't live on the first day of school. I think it would be comforting to have them be a part of my element, where I am most comfortable. When I look at the pictures of them in my house, I get this overwhelming feeling of love but also a strong feeling of pain. I'm not sure if I want that at school. I think of them some days while I'm working and I usually get a small wash of emotion but it isn't enough to bring the feelings to the surface. I wonder if I had a visual if that bit of sadness would take over. I can't imagine having to explain to a bunch of teenagers why I had to run from the room sobbing.