A New Year

Well, school has started again.  I think most people measure the years from January to December but as a teacher, I measure mine from August to May.  The summer is just recooperation time, time for me to catch up on the personal things I don't do while school is in.  Of course, this past summer was time for me to grieve and try to get a handle on my emotions before I once again stepped into a classroom.  Teaching is often a frustrating and emotionally draining job but I look forward to a new set of people every year.  Its exciting to do something different every day and having a constant rotation of kids is refreshing.  This year I'm struggling to make a decision on putting pictures of Alice and Drake in my classroom.  I told my students that I had twins and that they didn't live on the first day of school.  I think it would be comforting to have them be a part of my element, where I am most comfortable.  When I look at the pictures of them in my house, I get this overwhelming feeling of love but also a strong feeling of pain.  I'm not sure if I want that at school.  I think of them some days while I'm working and I usually get a small wash of emotion but it isn't enough to bring the feelings to the surface.  I wonder if I had a visual if that bit of sadness would take over.  I can't imagine having to explain to a bunch of teenagers why I had to run from the room sobbing.